Are You Real?

Today, I hung out with friends. It was exhilarating! I really had a wonderful time, and, in fact I hung out with 3 different groups of people the whole day, like I was a tether ball being hit around. However, with each "group" we did different stuff. With one group, I went to downtown and looked at video games for two hours, and another swimming and tanning, a variety of other activities, however, overall conclusion, it was all really fun.
Unfortunately, the entire day was basically clouded of dreadful thoughts of my mother. As sensitive yet cheesy as that sounds, it was no lie. I missed the bus at 2:45, and my mom was bewildered, mainly because I prooomised her I would take the bus back home. I missed it, and I actually ran for it... however definitely no chance. Interestingly enough, when I called my mom that I missed my bus, she thought I was kidding. I surely wasn't. She furious when she finally believe me about my truth. I was terrified, but I just decided to, at least, try to forget about it have a good time while stuck in downtown.
Guilt locked in my mind, yet no one knew, no one even guessed. I laughed, I screamed, I smiled. It was I really good time, until my mom came to pick me up. I happily said goodbye to my friends, and jumped into the car to confront my mom. She was angry, and as soon as I closed the door, I felt my heart sink. Surprisingly, she wasn't as angry as I thought she would be. Mostly, she was delighted on how I had done on my exams and courses this year. Her anger slowly ceased, and my mood took the biggest breath. My mistake was quickly forgotten about.
Ok, that was a sum-up of my day. I wonder if you caught the message. I suppose I really emphasized my fear towards my mom, however that was not what I wanted you two know... (although it is very very very true).
I don't know about you, but I know about me that I am horribly (however may not be horrible) effected on who I am with, if that makes sense. I mean, I am definitely NOT a consistent character, my personality changes, not so much drastically (good thing) however, a definite change. Is everyone like that? Then who is the real me? I feel some times so fake, but it doesn't feel like I am acting. I'm just curious how I REALLY am. When recalling back to different times during the day, I was happy, and sad, and scared, worried, loud, annoying maybe, who knows. No consistency, although it makes sense to be changing all the time I suppose. It just confusing because its like if you change, does that mean you are being fake?
There are so many things I don't know, but I thought I knew at least my self, but that is proving it's self wrong. I really beginning to question myself, who am I really?

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Do you ever get those days when you just arent feeling good? Feeling good not as in a tummy ache or a head ache, but actually not feeling good. Well, i just had one of those days today, and it sucks. Some days I just feel so good. So relaxed and calm and at ease. There just seems nothing to worry about, things to look forward to, memories that just make you feel so alive. Why couldn't everyday be that like? Yesterday, I just felt so great. I had a fantastic day yesterday! There were things I was looking forward to, but not today.

Haha, it really seems like im trying to act all emotional, and sensitive about my life, but really im not. Im just trying to explain how I feel. but really, I mean, dont you every feel that sad way sometimes? You just want to give up and then you think to yourself, what am I doing here?